When groups gather, we naturally bring our assumptions about appropriate ways to speak with each other. However, when it comes to hard conversations about America, our political environment has been utterly corroded by a culture promoting conflict. Amanda Ripley coined the term “conflict entrepreneurs” for the cadre of operatives who find ways to polarize and toxify discourse for the sake of gaining attention and solidifying adherents.
We seek to create a different cultural container, one informed by the sacred values of our faith traditions. Within that space, a higher standard of appropriate behavior applies, one less vulnerable to the contempt for one’s opponent found in the current political ecosystem. To achieve this type of environment, we suggest using a Covenant for Conversation, and we have provided the language below as a template for your clergy group to adapt for your congregational sessions.
We commit to creating an environment where the community can discuss subjects that reflect diverse and potentially strongly held opinions. We shall:
Seek to minimize harm and offense.
Ensure that minority opinions are heard and respected.
Model a way of community deliberation that contributes to healthy citizenship.
Speak carefully from our own understandings using “I” statements.
Avoid hyperbole, filibuster, gestures, and name-calling.
Try our best to understand what others are saying and to understand why they are saying what they are saying.
While being respectful of time, make sure that everyone’s opinion is heard, recognizing that an individual’s opinion may change during the discussion.
Highlight, honor, and celebrate areas where we have common agreement and try to build on our agreement.
Accept that our objective is not to change anyone’s opinions.
Turn to God, our traditions, and our clergy for moral guidance, leadership, and pastoral care when needed.